The Witless Clunkery of a Third-Rate Mind

Friday, April 20, 2007


Everything is going well here in Beppu. Well, almost everything. I had some problems at my apartment: no hot water, then no water at all; also, we are supposed to receive a box of supplies from our company but due to some oversight I didn't get anything, so for the first little while I had no toilet paper, no dishes, no garbage bags, etc. Anyway, it's all been ironed out now. Mistakes happen, I guess.

Here is a link to some pictures taken by Michelle, my co-worker. I'm too lazy to post my own pictures just now, and hers are really good, so please enjoy her pictures of Beppu.

In the meantime, here's a funny (well, laughable; is that the same thing?) story from the last faculty meeting here. (I manage to avoid these things by virtue of being a part-timer.)

Dean: So, are there any more concerns that need to be raised?
Professor: Yes, I have a concern I would like you to address.
Dean: Go ahead.
Professor: Does APU have a contingency plan in place in the event of an earthquake?
Dean: Yes, I believe we do; we have designated evacuation areas, emergency response plans, first aid supplies, and so on.
Professor: But aren't there lions nearby, in the African Safari Park?
Dean: Errr... yes, there is a Safari theme park a few kilometers away, and I believe they do have lions there, but ...
Professor: Well, what if there was an earthquake, and the cages broke open, and the lions were released? Does the university have tranquilizer guns on hand in the event of a lion attack?
Dean: A lion attack?
Professor: Yes, an earthquake, and then a subsequent lion attack. We need to have tranquilizer guns on hand!
Dean: I'm not sure if that's really necessary...
Professor: You should be prepared for any eventuality, and I believe a lion attack is a very real possibility, given that there are lions in the vicinity.
Dean: We will consider your recommendation, professor.

I'm not sure if the professor is aware of this, but there is also an Aquarium down near the seaside; if there were an earthquake, there could also be subsequent tsunamis, which might rupture the tanks at the aquarium, releasing sharks and other dangerous fishes; this tsunami might continue right up the side of the mountain, bringing said sharks into contact with discombobulated students and rescue personnel. One could even conceive of the possibility, however unlikely, that lions might escape from the safari park, and then get swept up by the ensuing tsunami -- the result would almost certainly be waves of lions riding sharks, both attacking unsuspecting earthquake survivors willy-nilly. Scary stuff indeed. I'm glad people are thinking about these things.


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