The Witless Clunkery of a Third-Rate Mind

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mmmm... Yummy!

Lots of people have stories about buying the wrong food because they misunderstood some label. Well, the other day I was in the grocery store and I just picked up a carton with a picture of some apples on it, thinking it must be apple juice, and put it in my basket. I got home and poured it into a glass - strange, it seems to be colourless. Hmmm. Oh well... I drank it and surprise! It was vinegar.

Not pure vinegar, mind you, but some sort of "health drink" made from water, vinegar, and a splash of apple juice for a bit of flavour. Hence, the apples on the carton. Sure enough, it says very clearly in Japanese "malt vinegar beverage". I told my students about this, and they all said, "Very healthy!" Sigh.


At 7:19 PM, Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

At 4:11 PM, Blogger BeatDogg said...

Wow. That was really profound, Dr. Howdy, dancing alligator notwithstanding. You should try to get that published... maybe Reader's Digest will offer the pages of their hallowed "Food For Thought" section as a vehicle for your sage observations. I'm not sure what you mean by "ethnic identity politics" but it sounds somewhat ominous, and I suspect your opinions on such matters lean towards the far right of the political spectrum. Tell us, where do you stand on some other issues? Abortion, affirmative action, the war in Iraq, etc... We're dying to hear more!

At 5:54 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Thanks for your comments, thought&humor. They are very thought provoking, on a number of levels... one of which is whether or not I know you... how did you find this blog? I'm trying to figure out if this message is spam, or ... ?


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